Love Story Of Boon Hup & Catherine

“You mustn’t try to fit the other person into something he or she is not, but rather try to live with all the imperfections, acknowledge that you have them and improve. A person changes not from your insistence, but from within.” – Wee Boon Hup

Q: What’s your love story?

Boon Hup: We met in church in 1977 at Paya Lebar Methodist Church. She was originally from the Chinese Church; I was seven years older and a youth leader then. My first impression of her was that she was cute and had a very outgoing personality. I remembered that it was around two years before I headed for Trinity Theological College that we started a serious relationship. We got married in a wedding venue Singapore at the Paya Lebar Methodist Church in 1983.

Catherine: We were friends for quite a number of years before we got together. I think a definitive moment was when we were away on a retreat with a few friends at Cameron Highlands. We really enjoyed each other’s company and talked about everything under the sun, so it was then that we acknowledged our feelings for each other. In fact, that was one of our honeymoon destinations a few years later!

Q: What do you love most about your spouse?

Boon Hup: She is very giving – while I like to receive! She does this sometimes to the point of overstretching herself. She is always thinking about how to help other people.

Catherine: He’s witty and humorous, and makes me laugh a lot.  He is also loving, gentle and kind with a lot of patience. Even with my mum’s recent passing, he was the one that supported me throughout.

Q: How do you normally spend your time together?

Boon Hup: When the children were younger, I always ended work as a pastor at around 8 – 9 o’ clock. After putting the kids to sleep, we would eke out about an hour or so to spend time together.

Catherine: Nowadays, we spend time together eating and going on holidays or trips. As the children are more independent now, we now have our own time together at least once or twice a week. 

Q: In your opinion, what are the ingredients to a lasting marriage?

Boon Hup: It has to be constant communication and talking to each other even when there are disagreements. You might be angry and upset but you got to keep the lines of communication open. Both parties have to recognise their faults and forgive.

Catherine: Friendship, kindness and forgiveness. For example, I’m quite verbal, and can also get aggressive and confrontational. He’s more laidback, so we complement each other. He will keep quiet first and will then choose the right moment to focus on the issue and try not let it turn personal. In that, both parties can show kindness and friendship.

Q: What are some tips for newly-weds?

Boon Hup: Force yourself to devote time to each other and communicate. For me, it is important have an ‘off day’ even if it is just to run errands together.

Catherine: Firstly, be kind. Don’t take each other for granted. Secondly, be patient. Thirdly, don’t bear grudges.

Q: What are the little acts of love you do for each other on a regular basis?

Boon Hup: Well, she cooks the food that I like. For example, fish. Plus, she always buys the desserts I like back from outside.

Catherine: He always tries to be of service to me. For example, driving me around.

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