The 5 Years Marriage Story Of Joseph Tan And Felicia Zhou

“…a psychic… predicted she would appear.” —Joseph Tan, on how he met Felicia Zhou.

 Q: What brought you together?

Joseph: Through a psychic. He predicted she would appear. He described her to a lot of people. A mutual friend said he has a friend who fit that description, and introduced the both of us. When I first I saw her, I thought she was quite hao lian (proud). We went for karaoke and after singing a few duets, we got a bit more comfortable and hit off.

Felicia: Our mutual friends set up a blind date. I jumped when I first met him, as a total stranger appeared out of nowhere asking me if I was Felicia. My first impression of him was he is a real flamboyant weirdo! At the KTV, we sang a duet, In Love With You by Jacky Cheung and Regine Valasquez. He was impressed that I could hit the high notes! We hit it off quite well and started going out almost everyday.

Q: Tell us about the wedding.

Joseph: I did the blueprint for the wedding gown; the gown maker manifested it physically. I had already dreamt about what I wanted to wear on my wedding day since I was 12. So I ordered a suit from McQueen. We wanted the wedding to be intimate and cosy, only 25 tables. We had the ROM four years before our wedding, so we knew our wedding was more dedicated to our guests. So two things, the food has to be good and the guests had to be seated so that they can have a hearty conversation. We just wanted people to enjoy themselves.

Felicia: We got engaged two months into our courtship. It was a small affair with our families meeting one another for the first time. We had a ROM reception in June 2011 at Raffles House. It was a beautiful afternoon affair, there was a great spread of buffet lunch and we engaged a three-member band to host 100 guests. We walked down the aisle and had the solemnisation in a garden filled with red roses. Our wedding banquet came two years later, in Oct 2013 at Four Seasons Hotel. We were very hands-on and enjoyed ourselves throughout the wedding preparation. He even designed my gown and I loved it! Our wedding was peacock-themed and we had a wedding cake with a pretty peacock on it. The gatecrash was in the hotel bridal suite; my bridesmaids did a great job playing tricks on the guys! It was tough to keep our volume down. The wedding was good fun and filled with laughter. 

Q: What do you love most about each other?

Joseph: For lack of a better word, she is a fluid concept. She is easy-going, yet she has a dignity about what she prefers, and why she prefers it, while being open to suggestions. It’s important in love and marriage since you can learn to love what your partner loves. This way you will know what are the things, lifestyle options and practical sensibilities to adapt to such that you keep the marriage going. If people have emotional preferences, or certain physical preferences, they’ll say “I cannot” or “it’s not within my habits”. It’s not good if you can’t evolve properly.

Felicia: He can be serious and stern while at work. But only I see the other “cute” side of him at home no one else gets a chance to see. I shall not elaborate on that!

Q: Both of you have busy schedules. How do you continue romancing each other?

Joseph: We shifted to opposite her workplace so our workplaces and home are close to each other. This way, we can have lunch and dinner together, or sneak in a coffee somewhere. By default, we want to have one weekend dinner to ourselves. Working near each other helps a lot.

Felicia: We make quick phone calls frequently and send each other texts in the day; its the sweet nothings that matter most, I feel.

Q: What are some goals that you’ve set as a couple?

Joseph: That our children will be brought up with the ethics of older people, traditional type of values and ethics, but with modern sensibilities. Although we don’t have children yet, it will be the best way to find out how aligned we are. It will manifest in the child. We’re planning for her to be self-employed too; we want to create an enterprise together. When you work, that’s where you show the best side of yourself. So working together can hopefully make us closer.

Felicia: We frequently discuss what our future will be like and what we want to achieve in life. We have consistent views and ideas on what we want for our children’s upbringing in the near future.

Q: Any words to shed light on the mystery of marriage?

Joseph: Love and marriage are two separate things. The key to have both is to know who will be buried beside you. (laughs) You never really know until you go in. Women say that you never know your husband knows you until the day he’s buried next to you.

Felicia: Relationships have no room for pride issues and always compromise.